


To Have and To Hold

by gh0stberry



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, First Dates, First Kiss, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Timeskips, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-13
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-08 10:53:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7754899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gh0stberry/pseuds/gh0stberry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><blockquote>
  <p>He hadn’t noticed before, but there on his cheek sits a bit of whipped cream. Hajime reaches out on autopilot, catching the whipped cream on his finger and eating it.</p>
  <p>Hajime freezes, finger still in his mouth, as his eyes meet Tsukasa’s, which are slowly widening.</p>
</blockquote>A vignette collection spanning roughly three years, chronicling the changes in Hajime and Tsukasa's relationship throughout high school.
            </blockquote>





	1. Tea Break

**Author's Note:**

> this took me like a month bc i kept procrastinating on the last part but lmao here it is. finally. this is technically the first thing i wrote for the enstars fandom, just not the first thing i finished. and of course it's a rarepair. of course. good job me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ch 1 takes place some time during their first year, i'd like to say around halfway through.

Hajime stands in front of the tea shop, heart in his throat. Scanning the menu listed on the sign out front, he desperately tries not to cry.

 _You were expecting this_ , he reminds himself. _Of course it would be pricey, if Eichi onii-chan likes it. He would never go to some cheap place…_

Hajime can’t stop the small whimper that escapes him. For Eichi onii-chan to recommend this place, it must be wonderful, but just looking at the prices is making him feel faint.

He takes a deep breath, one sharp inhale, and squares his shoulders. He will not cry, not here. So he won’t be able to try the tea shop the president had recommended. Oh well. He still has the tea club meetings. _But what if Eichi onii-chan asks me about the shop at the next meeting?_ Hajime doesn’t want to disappoint the president, but he also can’t afford to splurge on tea and cake this month…

The tears are welling up again.

Just when Hajime thinks he’s going to cry after all, a hand lands on his shoulder. The touch is light, but still unexpected, and Hajime spins around with an embarrassing squeak. Cringing, he looks up into the face of Tsukasa Suou.

 _Did he notice me crying?_ Hajime thinks, face heating up.

“Hajime-kun? Ah, it is you!” Tsukasa’s eyebrows draw together and the corners of his lips turn down a little as he looks closer at Hajime. “Is everything alright, Hajime-kun? You’re crying.”

Tsukasa lifts his hand toward Hajime’s face, as if to wipe the tears away himself, but Hajime brings his own hand up to stop him.

“I-I’m fine, really!” Please don’t worry about me, Suou-kun,” he insists, wiping his eyes on his sleeve quickly. 

“Well, if you’re sure…” Tsukasa hesitates, then notices the sign behind Hajime. “Oh, this place! I’ve been meaning to try it. Are you going in, Hajime-kun? May I join you?”

“Actually, uh…” Hajime pauses, trying to find the words he wants to use without hurting his fellow first year’s feelings. “That is, I don’t really have the money to go in right now so… I can’t go in with you, I’m sorry.” He hangs his head.

“If money is the problem, I can pay for both us,” Tsukasa offers blithely. Hajime’s head jerks back up.

“There’s no way I could let you do that, Suou-kun!”

“Is that so?” Tsukasa asks, pursing his lips and thinking for a few moments. “In that case, what if I cover the cost of the tea and we split the cost of a cake?”

“You would still be paying for me that way, so no, I can’t,” Hajime shakes his head furiously. Then he makes the mistake of looking into Tsukasa’s pleading eyes and stops.

Taking advantage of Hajime’s momentary hesitation, Tsukasa takes one of his hands and twines their fingers together. “Please, Hajime-kun, come with me. It would be lonely to go alone.”

Hajime falters at the contact. Taking his silence as evidence that he’s given in, Tsukasa tightens his grip on Hajime’s hand and pulls him to the door. Hajime doesn’t think to protest until they’re sitting next to each other at a table in the corner of the tea shop.

“Suou-kun,” he whispers, trying not to draw attention from the other patrons. “Please let me pay for my own tea as well.”

“No,” Tsukasa whispers back. “You said you couldn’t.”

“But–”

“Hajime-kun,” Tsukasa takes one of his hands again, cupping it between both of his own and bringing it up close to his face. “Please let me do this. I want to do this.”

Hajime’s pride crumbles beneath the strength of Tsukasa’s puppy dog eyes.

“Okay,” he agrees softly. “But just this once.” He hopes he’s not blushing again.

Tsukasa beams and pulls a menu closer. When the waitress comes, Hajime orders a simple green tea and Tsukasa orders a black tea at Hajime’s recommendation. _Despite his massive sweet tooth, he knows surprisingly little about tea_ , Hajime thinks. Being able to tell Tsukasa about the teas on the menu makes him happy though, so he doesn’t bring it up with the other boy.

They also agree to order a small vanilla cake to share, and when it arrives, Hajime is almost unwilling to eat it. If Tsukasa’s face is anything to go by, he feels the same.

The cake is round and maybe half the size of a dinner plate. It is covered entirely in swirls of whipped cream, with a row of strawberries marching along the top edge.

They stare in reverent silence for a few moments before Tsukasa’s stomach makes a noise. Tsukasa splutters, trying and failing to form words. Hajime can’t stop a small laugh from escaping. “After you, Suou-kun.”

“I’m sorry,” Tsukasa groans, burying his face in his hands. This doesn’t stop Hajime from seeing the tips of his ears turn red.

Hajime reaches for Tsukasa’s hands and pulls them away from his face. “Don’t worry about it, Suou-kun. Cakes are meant to be eaten after all.” He smiles, and Tsukasa smiles hesitantly back.

They sit there for at least half an hour, sipping tea, eating cake, and swapping stories about their clubs and units and classmates.

As they finish the cake, Hajime’s gaze falls on Tsukasa’s face. He hadn’t noticed before, but there on his cheek sits a bit of whipped cream. Hajime reaches out on autopilot, catching the whipped cream on his finger and eating it.

Hajime freezes, finger still in his mouth, as his eyes meet Tsukasa’s, which are slowly widening.

 _Oh no_ , Hajime thinks as his heart plummets to his feet. _Oh no oh no oh no._ Tsukasa’s face is almost red enough to match his hair, and Hajime is sure his is as well.

“I am so sorry!” he blurts out. “I wasn’t thinking at all, oh dear, I do that all the time to my little siblings I didn’t think–”

“I-it’s okay, Hajime-kun,” Tsukasa cuts him off quietly. Hajime has never seen him so flustered. It gives him a fluttery feeling in his chest.

“You don’t need to apologize,” Tsukasa continues, voice getting stronger. “I, uh, thanks, actually. For getting that.” Tsukasa’s gaze drops to his lap.

 _Oh._ Hajime lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. _Oh. He’s not mad._ “No problem,” he murmurs, still kind of wishing he could cover his face.

Tsukasa looks back up again, smiling hesitantly. “Hajime-kun, we should do this again.”

“Eh?”

“It was fun. I want to do this again. With you.”

“O-oh.” Just like that, Hajime is too flustered to think straight again. “Y-yeah, we should.” He returns the smile. “It was a lot of fun, Suou-kun. But next time–” he hesitates, but only for a moment. “–let me pay for my own tea.”

Tsukasa looks startled by the forcefulness with which Hajime said the last part, but then smiles. “Deal.”

Tsukasa stand up and brings the bill to the cashier, with Hajime following him a moment later. They leave the shop together, parting ways with a wave. Hajime walks home with a smile, so happy he could float.


	2. Rooftop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was gonna upload this on like tuesday but i needed something to do besides cry over the new gacha story so here it is :'D im gonna go back to crying on twitter now
> 
> this takes place at the very very beginning of their second year if you're wondering

Hajime is sitting on the roof when Tsukasa finds him. His arms are wrapped around his knees, drawing them close to his chest so he can bury his face there. Quiet sobs shake his body.

The light touch on his shoulder doesn’t surprise him this time, nor does the quiet “Hajime-kun?” that emerges from Tsukasa’s lips.

Hajime lifts his head to meet Tsukasa’s eyes, not bothering to try and hide the fact that he’s crying.

Tsukasa seems to realize that Hajime has no intention of moving any time soon, so he lowers himself from a crouch into a sitting position perpendicular to Hajime. 

“Why are you crying up here all alone, Hajime-kun?” he asks softly. The words bring a fresh wave of tears to Hajime’s eyes, and he takes the handkerchief that Tsukasa offers wordlessly.

Once he’s done wiping his eyes, he takes a deep breath and hopes his voice won’t sound squeaky.

“I came up here because I didn’t w-want to bother anyone else with my…” Hajime trails off, gesturing to himself to indicate his current state rather than risk crying again by admitting it out loud. “I didn’t want Tomoya-kun and Mitsuru-kun to worry about me.”

“But they’re in the same unit as you.” Tsukasa’s voice is gentle. “I don’t think they’d mind.”

“Yes, but–” Hajime wills himself not to cry again. “–they’re handling it just fine, and I’m not, so I’d just be a nuisance to them as I am now.”

Tsukasa’s eyebrows draw together in confusion. “I’m sorry, but I’m not sure what you’re referring to. What are they handling just fine?”

Despite his best efforts, Hajime feels tears well up. He buries his face in his knees again, angry with his inability to control his own emotions.

Tsukasa makes a noise beside him, then hesitantly puts an arm around Hajime’s shoulders. It’s a little awkward since they’re not facing the same direction, but Tsukasa still pulls Hajime toward him as best he can. They end up sitting with their legs tangled up together while Hajime rests his head on Tsukasa’s shoulder.

Hajime can feel Tsukasa’s heartbeat through his uniform, and it helps to calm him down just a bit. Tsukasa lifts his hand from Hajime’s shoulder and begins rubbing soothing circles on his back. For the moment, Hajime is distracted from his tears. The rhythm is relaxing, but he’d probably die of embarrassment if he fell asleep like this. His face warms just thinking about it.

Tsukasa’s voice brings him back to the present. “So, what are Tenma-kun and Mashiro-kun handling well that you aren’t?”

Hajime hiccups. “Um, it’s just that Nii-chan– that is, Nito Nazuna-senpai– graduated. And I guess I miss him more than I expected to,” he admits quietly.

“He was Ra*bits’ leader, was he not?” Tsukasa asks. “Then no wonder you miss him.”

“Yes, but… well, I’m sure Mitsuru-kun and Tomoya-kun miss him as well, but they’re moving forward. Not like me, who’s sitting up here crying about something that can’t be changed. I feel as if I’ll be left behind.” Hajime takes a deep breath. Now that he’s started talking, he can’t seem to stop. “I guess I never realized how much we all, and myself in particular, relied on Nii-chan to lead us. Now that he’s gone, I’m not sure what to do…” Hajime flushes when he realizes how much he just blurted out to Tsukasa. Clapping a hand to his mouth, he looks worriedly up to the boy next to him.

Tsukasa looks surprised by the confession, or maybe he’s just surprised by how much Hajime just spoke. He thinks for a moment before replying.

“I think that’s a perfectly normal reaction to the leader of your unit graduating, Hajime-kun. My upperclassmen in knights are probably feeling similarly.” Tsukasa lifts his hand from Hajime’s back and rests it on his head. “May I play with your hair, Hajime-kun?” His voice is soft and his cheeks are pink.

Caught off guard by the request, Hajime stumbles over his words. “O-oh, uh, sure…”

Tsukasa begins gently carding his fingers through Hajime’s hair. They sit like that for a minute or so before Tsukasa continues on his earlier train of thought.

“You’re not alone Hajime-kun. You have Mashiro-kun and Tenma-kun with you. I think together, the three of you will be fine. Just do what you can, and what you think is best for your unit as it is now. I’m sure that’s what Nito-senpai would want you three to do.”

Hajime makes a noise of affirmation, eyelids fluttering. The combination of Tsukasa’s hand in his hair and the beat of his heart was making Hajime sleepy. Tsukasa is probably right, though. They can never go back to the “old” Ra*bits, but that doesn’t necessarily make the “new” Ra*bits bad. As long as they continue moving forward, they’ll be okay.

“Thank you, Suou-kun,” Hajime breathes.

“Hm? You’re welcome,” Tsukasa says. “Oh, and, Hajime-kun?”

“Yes?”

“You can call me Tsukasa, you know.”

Hajime’s breath catches in his throat. “O-okay… Tsukasa-kun.”

The last thing Hajime hears before sleep finally overtakes him is a slight puff of laughter from Tsukasa.

When Tsukasa realizes the boy in his arms has fallen asleep, his heart skips a beat. Carefully, so as not to wake Hajime, he maneuvers himself until he is sitting parallel to Hajime, then lowers the other boy’s head into his lap. 

He sits there, continuing to run his hand through Hajime’s hair until he wakes. The sun is just beginning to set, tingeing everything reddish.

Hajime apologizes profusely when he wakes, blushing and stuttering but not backing away from Tsukasa, who assures him he doesn’t mind with a laugh.

Hajime stands up and offers a hand to Tsukasa, who accepts it and joins him on his feet.

“Do you live close by, Hajime-kun?”

“Ah, yes, sort of.”

“Then let’s walk home together!” Tsukasa suggests, face shining. He holds out a hand to Hajime. After a moment of hesitation, Hajime takes the offered hand and follows Tsukasa down the stairs and to the school gates.

They walk home like that, pinky fingers linked, as the sun sinks below the horizon and the town lights up around them. 


	3. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this part still takes place during their second year, but much later than part 2. other than that i have nothing to say lol, thanks for sticking with me this far y'all

“Tsukasa-kun?” Hajime stands breathless at the door of the infirmary. Tsukasa looks up at him from where he sits on one of the beds. His legs are thrown over the side facing the door, so he can see anyone who comes in. Sagami-sensei is nowhere to be seen. 

Hajime’s gaze lands on Tsukasa’s knee, which is scraped and oozing blood. Despite his injury, Tsukasa gives Hajime his usual gentle half smile. 

“What happened?” Hajime asks, approaching slowly as he catches his breath. 

Tsukasa huffs once, sheepishly. “I was running late, so I tried to sprint from the archery dojo to the practice rooms and tripped. Narukami-senpai sent me here as soon as she saw my knee, but Sagami-sense isn’t here so I’ve just been waiting around.” He ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

“Um, I can try to take care of it, if you want? I mean, I’ve done it before, for my siblings, so I might be able to help…” Hajime trails off, flushing as Tsukasa’s face lights up.

“Really, Hajime-kun? That’d be a big help. Although I guess practice is already almost over.”

Hajime begins rummaging around in the infirmary cupboards. He feels a twinge of guilt for just going through Sagami-sensei’s things like this, but he doesn’t really want to leave Tsukasa hanging. He finally finds bandages in the second cupboard and breathes a sigh of relief.

He returns to the side of the bed and kneels down to inspect the scrape. It’s shallow and the bleeding has mostly stopped, but Hajime purses his lips anyway.

“I can bandage it, but it really would be better to wash it out and put ointment on it too, and Sagami-sensei doesn’t seem to have any…” He looks up at Tsukasa. “I have some at home, though. You should come home with me tonight.”

“Eh?” Tsukasa freezes and begins to turn red. Hajime just stares at him, confused, until his words sink in. 

“Oh my god I didn’t mean it like _that_ I just–” Hajime claps a hand over his mouth. “I am so sorry.”

Slowly Tsukasa begins to laugh.

“Sure,” he agrees when his laughter dies. “If it’s really okay.”

Hajime nods and bandages Tsukasa’s knee quickly while Tsukasa calls home to inform whoever is there that he’ll be going home with a friend. The way he says friend into the phone makes Hajime’s heart pound. It doesn’t sound like he’s talking to his parents though, and Hajime can’t bring himself to ask.

As they walk home, Hajime sticks close to Tsukasa’s side, watching him carefully to make sure he won’t fall.

“Hajime-kun, it’s just a scrape. I’m fine,” Tsukasa assures him. When his words don’t seem to reassure Hajime, Tsukasa grabs his hand and slots their fingers together, squeezing lightly. They walk home like that, with Hajime trying to keep his red face under control and Tsukasa swinging their arms lightly.

When Hajime opens his front door, he’s immediately confronted by both of his younger siblings. Their mother calls after them, but they don’t stop until their gazes fall on Tsukasa, who is standing a step behind Hajime and looking on curiously.

Hajime turns, tapping both children on the head lightly. 

“It’s rude to stare like that, you two. Why don’t you go help mother, I can hear her calling for you.” Both children throw him pleading glances. “I’ll introduce you guys later, but first I need to help Tsukasa-kun with something. He’s injured, you know.” Both kids turn back to Tsukasa, notice his knee, and finally nod. They dash back into the house, leaving Hajime to linger outside with Tsukasa.

“I’m sorry about them,” Hajime says, running a hand through his hair. “They’re very, um, excitable.” 

Tsukasa shakes his head, smiling slightly. “Don’t worry about it Hajime-kun. They’re cute. I can see the family resemblance.”

Hajime couldn’t tell if Tsukasa had meant to call him cute or not, but it didn’t matter. He could feel the blush crawling across his cheeks. Unable to come up with something to say back, he merely turns around and leads Tsukasa into his house. He watches Tsukasa’s reaction out of the corner of his eye as they enter.

Hajime doesn’t know if he would call himself self conscious, but he’s definitely nervous. Of course, he’d brought friends home before, but never friends as rich as Tsukasa was. _What if he’s disappointed?_

Hajime squeezes his eyes shut for a second, shoving the thought to the back of his mind, then leads Tsukasa into the kitchen. His two siblings are in one corner, arguing about who gets to measure out the rice for the rice cooker. His mother is dicing meat near the door while his father mixes something at the stove. He waves to get their attention.

Both of his parents’ eyes light up when they see Tsukasa, and suddenly, Hajime’s not the one blushing anymore. His father shakes Tsukasa’s hand vigorously, immediately inviting him to stay for dinner. His mother winks at Hajime when she thinks Tsukasa isn’t looking.

“Okay,” Hajime butts in, gently disentangling his friend from his father. “Tsukasa-kun injured himself earlier and I offered to help so we really should go sort that out first, right, Tsukasa-kun?” His words come out in a rush, and he all but drags Tsukasa from the kitchen as soon as his friend nods. 

They go up a flight of stairs and turn immediately into a bathroom, where Hajime directs Tsukasa to sit on the edge of the bathtub. Hajime grabs a washcloth, some disinfectant spray, and clean bandages before sitting on the floor in front of Tsukasa.

“This is going to sting,” he warns, unwrapping the bandages. Tsukasa winces as Hajime brings the wet cloth to his knee, but doesn’t say anything.

The silence stretches between them, somewhere between comfortable and stifling. Hajime has no idea how to break it. He wants to talk to Tsukasa, almost desperate to know if, somehow, Tsukasa’s thoughts about him had changed now that he’d had a look at how he lives after school, but he has no idea how to form the question without coming off blunt. 

He’s tying a fresh bandage around Tsukasa’s knee when the other boys hand lands on his head, gently running his fingers through Hajime’s hair. Startled by the sudden intimacy, Hajime fumbles and Tsukasa pulls his hand away. Hajime looks up into his eyes, both of them blushing, and blurts out the first thing that comes to mind.

“Tsukasa-kun, will you be staying for dinner?” _Nice going, Hajime._

Tsukasa’s eyebrows draw up in surprise. “Sure, if you want me to.” He seems hesitant, so Hajime grabs one of his hands and pulls him to his feet as Hajime himself stands up. 

“I do,” he insists. “Let’s go!”

Both boys head back downstairs to join Hajime’s younger siblings at the table. Hajime’s brother and sister insist on sitting next to Tsukasa, so Hajime sits down across from him, trying not to laugh at the fact that his siblings are already peppering Tsukasa with questions. Soon, they are joined by Hajime’s parents, who also pepper Tsukasa with questions as they eat. Hajime chides his family, but Tsukasa seems to be warming up to them and answers the questions with ease.

By the end of the meal, both little siblings are enamored with Tsukasa, insisting that he and Hajime help them build a blanket fort in the living room. Tsukasa looks to Hajime, who looks to his mother, silently asking if she needs help cleaning up. His mother laughs and waves them off.

“You two have fun with the little ones, your father and I will clean up here.”

Hajime’s little brother cheers and drags Tsukasa off. Hajime’s sister latches onto his hand and follows with Hajime in tow.

Hajime’s siblings are shocked to find that Tsukasa has never made a blanket fort before and insist that Hajime must help them teach him. Hajime grins and rolls up his sleeves, and for the first time that night, Tsukasa looks like he’s contemplating his choices thus far. Hajime laughs.

An hour later, both boys lay on the floor, staring up at a complicated tangle of blankets and pillows above them. Hajime’s siblings lay asleep a few feet away.

“Tsukasa-kun, do you want to spend the night?” Hajime asks suddenly. Tsukasa raises his eyebrows.

“A-ah, I just thought that since it’s already so late, it would be safer to spend the night than walk home, you know?”

Before Tsukasa can respond, Hajime’s mother enters the room and takes in the four children on the floor. She chuckles quietly, picking up each of Hajime’s siblings in one arm.

She turns to where Tsukasa and Hajime lay on the floor and asks, “Suou-kun, do you want to spend the night? We’d love to have you.”

Tsukasa sits up in order to bow his head. “If it is alright to continue to impose upon you, I would love to,” he admits. 

Hajime’s mother laughs. “So polite! I’ll put these two to bed, so you two can go ahead and use the bath.”

Tsukasa follows Hajime’s mother with his eyes as she leaves the room, finally dragging his eyes away when Hajime gets to his feet and offers him a hand.

“Come on, Tsukasa-kun. I can lend you some of my pajamas. We’re still practically the same size.” 

Hajime leads Tsukasa back to the bathroom and leaves him there, returning within minutes with two sets of pajamas. He turns on the bathtub, letting the water warm up before plugging it and watching it fill. He pointedly doesn’t look at Tsukasa as he asks his next question.

“Tsukasa-kun, uh. Do you mind if we bathe together? It saves water if we do it that way, so, um–”

“Okay,” Tsukasa agrees easily. Hajime’s head whips around to stare at his friend, who leans against the counter watching him. Tsukasa grins at him and bows his head. “Please take care of me.”

Hajime chokes as Tsukasa begins giggling, and for a moment, Hajime is lost in the sound. He wants to stay like that, listening to Tsukasa laugh forever, but then he remembers the water and scrambles to turn it off. 

Both of them strip and climb into the tub, neither particularly bothered by the nudity after two years of quick changes before lives.

Hajime takes a deep breath, grabs the shampoo bottle, and looks Tsukasa in the eyes.

“Tsukasa-kun, turn around,” he orders. “Let me wash your hair.”

Tsukasa’s eyes widen, but he obediently turns around, making sure not to slosh water out of the tub. Hajime wets his hair and begins massaging the shampoo into his scalp. Tsukasa leans into the touch.

“Lavender shampoo,” he murmurs, just loud enough for Hajime to hear.

Startled, Hajime takes a moment to respond. “How’d you know?”

Tsukasa turns to smile at him. “It’s just like that pouch that you carry around. It reminds me of you.” He turns back around, but not before Hajime catches the pink on his cheeks. “It’s calming.”

Hajime opens and closes his mouth, too flustered to respond. He forces himself to concentrate on the task at hand, but before long, he’s done and Tsukasa is turning back around.

“My turn.” Tsukasa holds out a hand. Hajime passes the shampoo over wordlessly and turns around, leaning back onto Tsukasa’s chest.

“Hajime-kun?” he asks, surprised. 

“Tsukasa-kun, can I ask you a question?” Hajime whispers, resting his head on Tsukasa’s shoulder and staring at the wall.

Tsukasa wraps his arms around Hajime. “Sure.”

“Did you… did you have fun? Tonight, I mean? Even though my family’s so… wild?”

Tsukasa is silent for a moment. He tips his head back while he thinks.

“I did have fun,” he says finally. “Hajime-kun, your family is very… warm. I don’t see much of my parents so I guess I’m not used to something like this but–” he brings his head forward again and rests his cheek against Hajime’s hair. “–it was really fun.” 

Hajime smiles, and turns back around on impulse. His lips ghost over Tsukasa’s cheek in the barest hint of a kiss, leaving Tsukasa stammering. His whole face is red, including his ears, and Hajime can’t help but laugh. 

“W-what was that for?” Tsukasa finally manages to get out. 

“Thank you,” Hajime says. Seeing his usually collected classmate like this is pleasing, but Hajime knows it’s getting late, so he scoots forward and lets Tsukasa wash his hair. 

They finish the bath quickly. Tsukasa climbs out first, grabbing a towel for himself and tossing the other to Hajime as he follows. They drain the tub and change quickly. As Hajime leads Tsukasa back to his room, he catches the other boy looking toward the stairs.

“Tsukasa-kun?” he asks quietly.

Tsukasa jumps and turns back to Hajime guiltily. “Sorry, just. What will you do with that fort?”

“Hm? Oh, we’ll probably leave it up for now. Mother will probably make those two clean it up tomorrow after school. Why?”

Tsukasa doesn’t answer, but the twist of his lips and flicking of his eyes is all the answer Hajime needs.

“Tsukasa-kun, do you want to sleep in the fort?”

Tsukasa’s eyes flick to him hopefully. “We can do that?”

Hajime smiles and takes his hand, leading him down the stairs and silently pointing out the creaky boards. When they reach the living room, Hajime lets Tsukasa crawl into the fort first. When he joins him, Hajime finds his friend already sprawled on the floor, looking up at him with a grin. His heart skips a beat. _Are_ they still friends? After what happened in the bath, Hajime’s not sure what to call them now.

He’s distracted from his thoughts by the gentle thumping of Tsukasa patting the floor beside him.

“It’s late, Hajime-kun.”

“Ah, yes, you’re right.” Hajime kneels beside Tsukasa, then lowers himself onto his side. He opens his mouth to wish Tsukasa goodnight, but is distracted by Tsukasa leaning in and gently pressing his lips to Hajime’s forehead.

Heat floods Hajime’s face.

“Repayment for earlier,” Tsukasa says, smiling at him in the dark.

“O-oh,” Hajime chokes out, curling his body inward until he can press his forehead to Tsukasa’s chest. “Um, Tsukasa-kun?” 

“Yes?” Tsukasa wraps his free arm around Hajime.

“Are we friends? Or, like, something… else?” Hajime’s face burns more, something he didn’t think was possible, and even Tsukasa doesn’t seem to know how to answer.

“We can be whatever you want to be, I guess,” he answers finally.

Hajime lifts his head to look at the boy currently cradling him in his arms. 

“Okay. And if I want to be dating?” he asks shyly.

“Then we’re dating,” Tsukasa answers simply, but Hajime is sure he can see him blushing in the darkness.

“Oh. Good.” He smiles. “Goodnight, Tsukasa-kun.”

Tsukasa kisses him on the forehead again. “Goodnight, Hajime-kun,” he whispers.


	4. Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so yes i changed my ao3 username ~~for the fourth time~~ sorry im impulsive. anyway here's the last chapter, it takes place near the end of their third year, i hope you like it, etc.!

“Tsukasa-kun, are you sure about this?” Hajime asks, twisting around to look at the boy kneeling behind him. 

“Yes,” Tsukasa says around the pins in his mouth. “Stop moving.”

Hajime purses his lips and turns back to the full length mirror in front of him. He stares at his reflection in silence while Tsukasa continues working behind him.

A few minutes later, Tsukasa stands up and claps Hajime on the shoulder to signal that he’s done pinning the hems of Hajime’s pants and smiles at him in the mirror. Hajime smiles back hesitantly.

“You look good,” Tsukasa assures him, as if he’d read Hajime’s mind. Maybe he can, after all the time they’ve spent together.

Hajime drops his eyes and brings his hands to the waistband of his borrowed dress pants. “I should take these off,” he says, more to himself than to Tsukasa. “Better not risk dirtying them by wearing them home.”

“Of course,” Tsukasa replies, sounding a little sad. “Hajime-kun, do you really not want to do this? I don’t want to force you…”

Hajime sighs, already halfway out of the pants. He doesn’t respond right away, instead focusing on stepping out of the pants and folding them up before turning around to face Tsukasa.

“Tsukasa-kun,” he starts, determined, before realizing he’s not entirely sure where he’s going with his sentence. “I… I’m not opposed to going with you. I’m just not sure I should be the one going with you…”

Tsukasa raises an eyebrow at him skeptically. Hajime can tell he’s about to say something, so he hurries to continue. “This is your family we’re talking about, Tsukasa-kun. I just don’t think they’ll like me,” he admits softly. “Just look at me. I can’t even afford my own clothes for the occasion, I have to borrow and alter yours.”

“Just because you’re not rich doesn’t mean you’re unworthy of attending with me,” Tsukasa murmurs, stepping forward to wrap Hajime in a loose hug.

“Does the rest of your family agree with you?” Hajime blurts out impulsively. Tsukasa flinches back and drops his eyes to the ground. They both know the answer to that question already.

“I’m sorry,” Hajime murmurs, flushing slightly. “That was mean of me.” He runs a hand through his hair in frustration and tries to smile when Tsukasa looks up at him again cautiously.

“I do want to go with you,” Hajime says again, hoping his sincerity is conveyed through his voice or body language or _anything_. “I’m just… nervous.”

“I know,” Tsukasa says softly, pulling Hajime back into the hug. Hajime rests his head in the crook of Tsukasa’s neck. “Thank you,” Tsukasa whispers, running a hand through Hajime’s hair. It had become a habit sometime during their second year. When one of them is nervous, Tsukasa runs his hands through Hajime’s hair. It works surprisingly well for both of them.

“You don’t need to thank me,” Hajime replies, lifting his head to look at Tsukasa. “You met my family last year. It’s only fair for me to return the favor.” He smiles. Tsukasa smiles back.

Three days later, Hajime finds himself standing in front of a mirror once again, this time at Tsukasa’s house. He fidgets a little, feeling small and awkward in the dark suit Tsukasa had lent him. Even with the altering Hajime had done, it feels off. 

He turns around nervously to face Tsukasa, who is buttoning his own shirt up. He watches Tsukasa shrug on his suit jacket and adjust his tie like he does it all the time. _He probably does,_ Hajime thinks. Technically, Hajime does it all the time too, but his school uniform feels different than an actual suit.

The smile Tsukasa gives him when he looks up from his tie lessens his self-consciousness considerably, but Hajime still reaches up to adjust his tie nervously.

“Let me,” Tsukasa offers, stepping forward. Hajime’s hands drop to his sides and Tsukasa’s take their place, first loosening and then sliding the knot of the tie back up. He stops just before the knot reaches Hajime’s collar.

“Too tight?”

“Perfect.” Hajime smiles, heart thudding in his chest. Tsukasa is close enough to kiss, but something holds Hajime back. They had shared kisses before, of course, but never on the lips. And before an important event like this… Hajime just can’t do it.

“Ready to go?” Tsukasa asks, cutting off Hajime’s train of thought before it can get farther out of control. Hajime takes one last look at himself in the mirror before nodding. Tsukasa takes his hand and leads him from the room.

Four hours later, Hajime and Tsukasa return to the Suou family home, thoroughly exhausted. Tsukasa fumbles with the doorknob for a moment in the midnight darkness, eventually getting it open and ushering Hajime into the house.

The house seems much bigger late at night. The only light source is the slivers of moonlight filtering through the lacy curtains, which throw strange shadows against the walls. The servants are all gone or asleep, and it leaves Hajime feeling like he and Tsukasa are the only two people left in the world.

Tsukasa reaches out to Hajime, taking his hand for the umpteenth time that night as they slide their shoes off.

“I like this house even less in the dark,” Tsukasa mutters, picking up his shoes and stepping out of the entryway. Hajime picks up his own shoes and follows him, giving his hand a squeeze.

They climb the stairs as quietly as possible, finally reaching Tsukasa’s third floor room after a few excruciatingly creaky floorboards leave them both cringing. 

Tsukasa shuffles across the floor to turn his bedside lamp on, bathing the room in soft gold light. He turns back to Hajime, looking apologetic.

“I didn’t realize this dinner party was going to have so many guests, Hajime-kun. It took much longer than I’d thought, I’m sorry.” He crosses the room and takes Hajime’s hands in both of his. “Do you want to spend the night here?” Tsukasa is more hesitant than usual. 

Hajime’s eyes widen. “Is it really okay? Your parents really didn’t seem to like me much…” Hajime doesn’t remember much of the dinner, honestly, just a cold smile from Tsukasa’s mother and a scowl (directed at Tsukasa) from his father. His nerves had gotten the best of him rather easily, and he’s spent most of the night practically clinging to Tsukasa.

“I don’t care,” Tsukasa says firmly. “The thought of you walking home alone at this hour is an unpleasant one.”

Hajime nods slowly, a smile spreading across his face. “Okay,” he agrees. “I’ll stay.”

Tsukasa grins. “Wait here,” he instructs. He disappears into his closest, reemerging a minute later with two bundles of clothes. He tosses one to Hajime, and it’s not until Hajime catches it that he realizes they’re pajamas. Tsukasa’s pajamas.

He undresses slowly, exhaustion creeping in now that he’s thinking about sleep. Once fully dressed, Hajime looks down at the borrowed suit in his hands, then at Tsukasa, who seems to pick up on his train of thought immediately.

He takes the clothes from Hajime’s hands and disappears back into the closet, returning a moment later empty handed and solemn. He clears his throat. The light makes it a little hard to tell, but Hajime thinks Tsukasa’s cheeks look pink.

“There’s a guest bedroom down the hall, if you’d like to stay there, Hajime-kun, but the hallway is, um, dark, so if you’d rather not we could share. A bed, I mean.” _He’s definitely blushing now_.

Hajime turns to look at the door behind him, then back to Tsukasa, mind already made up. “Let’s share.”

Tsukasa’s face lights up. He tugs back the blankets and Hajime crawls into bed first, laying down and tilting his head to look up at Tsukasa, who sits at the edge of the bed. He leans over to turn the lamp off, plunging the room back into darkness, before swinging his legs up onto the bed and scooting closer to Hajime. Their hands intertwine beneath the blankets.

“Hajime-kun?” Tsukasa asks quietly. Hajime can just barely make out the shape of his body with what little light comes in from outside. “Did you have fun tonight? Honestly?”

Hajime is silent for a few moments before answering. “No,” he admits, quick to elaborate. “I’m not so good with crowds, especially not when they’re all older than me. It was kind of scary. But it’s okay, because you were there too. You helped me not freak out.” He’s not sure if Tsukasa’s eyes have adjusted enough to see the smile Hajime gives him, but he hopes so.

Tsukasa rolls onto his side to look Hajime in the eyes, throwing one arm over Hajime’s shoulder. “I never liked going to these fundraiser banquets either,” he admits. “But it’s different with you there. You make them bearable.” He brings his hand up to tuck Hajime’s hair behind his ear. 

“My parents aren’t happy with me,” Tsukasa continues after a moment of silence. His voice is small, more vulnerable than Hajime has ever heard him before. It feels like someone or something is squeezing Hajime’s heart. “They’re… disappointed, I think. My mother’s always talked about wanting grandchildren, and it’s no secret that my father wants the business to become a family one. Those kinds of things might not happen like this.” Hajime’s eyes have finally adjusted, and the look in Tsukasa’s eyes is earnest and determined. Hajime’s worry fades little by little.

“I don’t care,” Tsukasa moves on. “I don’t care about the business or grandchildren or anything like that. Hajime-kun, I care about you. I want–” Tsukasa’s falters. “I want to stay with you, like this, for as long as possible. I don’t want to leave you, after we graduate.”

Hajime’s face burns in the darkness. Of course Tsukasa’s confession would be just as blunt as he is with everything else, but Hajime has to admit that he feels more than a little flustered by it.

“I feel the same,” Hajime murmurs, not realizing until he says them out loud how true his words ring. He brings a hand up and rests it on Tsukasa’s cheek. “Kiss me, Tsukasa-kun,” Hajime breathes.

Tsukasa lets out a startled half-laugh at the sudden request, although it’s really more of a sharp exhale than true laughter. Then he smiles and obliges. 

Hajime’s first kiss is nothing like what he expected, but he doesn’t care. Tsukasa’s lips are soft on his own, slightly hesitant and very warm. Hajime sighs into the kiss, and when Tsukasa pulls away after a few moments, Hajime almost follows.

“Good?” Tsukasa murmurs.

“Good,” Hajime affirms, wrapping an arm around Tsukasa and pulling him close. “Very good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the end! thanks for sticking with me i appreciate the support everyone gave me <3


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